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Yo mama is so old that she`s mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.

Yo mama is so old that she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Yo mama is so fat that she`s got every caterer in the city on speed dial!

Yo mama is so ugly that she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.

Yo mama is so fat that she`s got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama is so stupid that she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.

Yo mama is so ugly that the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

Yo mama`s like a nickel, she ain`t worth a dime.

Yo mama is so stupid that she failed a survey.

Yo mama is so ugly that they didn`t give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.

Yo mama is so fat that she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama is so old that her birth certificate is written in Roman numerals.

Yo mama is so fat that she sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama is so fat that she fell and created the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama`s mouth is so big that she speaks in surround sound.

Yo mama is so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo mama is so fat that the stripes on her pajamas never end.

Yo mama is so stupid that she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.